Black Kitten at my front door
(Rio Rancho, NM)
Tonight I was putting my 4 year old to bed when I heard muffled meowing. I thought it was our orange tabby, Ben, trapped in a room with a closed door. But there he was, sound asleep on the couch. So I looked around, trying to find the source of the manic crying and it was at my front door!
I opened the door and there was a small black kitten (about 4 or 5 months) with green eyes sitting at my doorset crying his little heart out. I freaked out a little bit and quickly shut the door. My 12 year old son asked what was wrong and I told him to open the door. He felt so bad for the kitten and said I needed to let him in (we have a forecast of snow tonight). I thought about it and agreed, I didn't want the little thing to freeze to death in the cold overnight temperatures. My 4 year old daughter quickly took a liking to him and was so excited she couldn't sleep. He liked her too and after exploring the house...settled in with her for the night. Those two have been sleeping together all close in bed since!
So...I have been doing a search of superstitions and myths related to black cats and the one I found most profound is the Scottish myth that if you find a black kitten on your front porch and let it into your house you will be welcomed with wealth and prosperity. Being a bit superstitious...I welcomed that idea.
I have been struggling financially since May after being in a car accident in which I was not at fault at all. I was hit by a teenager going through a red light (after "spacing out") while I was making a left turn.
He was going about 45 mph and my car was totaled. I was also hurt in my neck and shoulder due to my airbag deploying and my car spinning after impact. I went through 3 months of physical therapy and was finally cleared by my physician but told that the injury is "chronic". I still experience pain in my left shoulder and neck and numbness in my right arm and hand.
Anywho...due to the accident and the fact that my vehicle was deemed a "total loss" I was (am) in financial straights. I have taken out a series of loans just to get by...but of course I struggle every month to get them paid on time. My rent is constantly late and I feel that I am always running to catch up. I know there is a settlement coming and I hope it is enough to pay everything off and offer me a fresh start.
So...I have done everything from going to confession and church regularly (I am a Catholic...not always a practicing one but recently a very active one) to saying the rosary every night and praying to Saint Jude. Nothing seemed to work to bring me the immediate help that I needed and I was honestly very frustrated.
I couldn't understand why so many bad events were happening and why I was struggling so bad. I was divorced, working full time, going to school, taking care of my kids. I didn't do anything "bad" and it just seemed that everyone else was better off than me and I was just digging myself a hole. Even my ex-husband, who left me for someone else after the birth of our daughter, was thriving (after everyone told me he would get his comeuppance). What the heck was I doing wrong and why was the hole getting bigger and deeper?
So...recently...after the New Year...I decided I was not going to renew my lease on this big 4 bedroom house I so blindly and stupidly went into a rental agreement on last February. I got this house because I had all three of my children living with me but after my accident last may my oldest son (13) decided he wanted to live with his dad (not related to the accident...my ex had previously expressed interest in my oldest living with him...and he wanted to be with his dad. It just so happened to come to fruition after my accident).
After the accident, and his moving out, I just felt this house was not a happy one. It was far away from everything and the rent was really high but I thought after my graduation I would land that dream job. I didn't. I didn't even really look too hard. With the economy, I was just happy to have my job. 2011 was just a bad year and I had a bad attitude about it, and I made a lot of really stupid decisions and went in really stupid directions because of my mindset.
Now...my goal for 2012 is to "downsize" and live below my means. I decided to move from this house to an apartment (decision made on January 1 at 12:04pm). But you know what? Apartment rent isn't much cheaper (if at all) than renting a house.
My 12 year old son was excited about moving into an apartment and I talked to a woman at work who also struggled as a single mother of three (they are all grown now) and she told me a two bedroom apartment is totally workable (put the boys in one room and my daughter and I share another)...so I decided to put my king sized bed (one I definitely don't need) on craigslist (this past friday 1/6) The day I did that, I got a text from a mother of a little boy at my daughter's daycare who said she accepted a job in Missouri (close to her home state of Illinois...in which she is totally homesick) and needed to move in early February.
She owns a small two bedroom house and converted half of her single car garage into a third bedroom/office/den and if I was interested (she knew my lease was up at the end of the month) she would like to rent it to me...because she doesn't want to sell right now in this economy. I was (am) ecstatic about it because the rent is only $750 a month...and is in line with my "downsizing"! I sold my bed this morning (1/8/12) and moved my daughter's full size bed into my room. She never slept in it...all 4 years of her life she has slept with me although everyone has said she needs her own room (whatever!).
So...I have a settlement coming (the demand letter started at $75K but I know it will be alot less)...I have a house to move into that is in align with my goals...I sold my bed that I honestly don't need...my son who is living with me is excited about the house (with the den)...and tonight I was welcomed to the anxious cries of a lost black kitten.
This leads up to tonight's encounter. It is Sunday, January 8, 2012. So much stress has occurred during 2011...so much second guessing...so much "what if"...and now...on New Year's Eve this year (a year in which I decided to allow my son to have a sleepover of all his closest friends...we toasted the new year with sprite in wine glasses lol!...instead of getting stupid drunk at a friends house) I have been welcomed to so many strange and exciting occurrences since my resolution. I have a house that is exactly in the price range I was looking for, I have realized I don't need to "live big" for the happiness of myself or my children, and I have the prospect of a job that makes 20K more than what I am making now (I had a phone interview last Thursday and will be scheduled for an in-person interview within the next week). Then...this black cat comes into my life.
This morning I sold my king sized bed. I told the guy I would have my garage opened when he arrived. When I went to meet him...that kitty rushed into my garage. My daughter immediately wanted her in the house. I was a bit freaked (it was...of course...a BLACK CAT!). So after he loaded up the bed (and after many attempts to shew the kitty away) I shut the garage door. That cat started meowing at my front door! I did let him in for a bit and my dog Sophie (a pup herself) thought the cat was a new toy and chaos ensued in my house. I finally put the cat outside (he wasn't mine!) and proceeded to get ready for lunch with my mom. When we came home this evening...as I stated in my introduction...I was putting my daughter to bed when I heard meowing. It was the kitty! Same black cat. So here he is with me...roaming the house for a bit...but is completed connected with my daughter. After eating and directing that the bathtub is not the litterbox...she is curled up with my daughter.
So...after all my rambling and backstories...what I am wondering is...is this cat good luck? After such a bad year in 2011 and now my resolve to have a better year in 2012 and its ensuing promises (the job prospect...the rental that fell in my lap) what does this mean? Am I reading too much into it? I don't know...but I am hoping(praying even) that this is a welcoming to a year that I finally deserve!